In three weeks, I will be finalizing the destruction of my old life-and all of the goals and fantasies that were years in the making-by doing something taboo and insane by American standards. I will be leaving my home, my country, and the American dream behind. I will be going off the tracks with vague career ideas and very little funds, but with passion and (almost) complete confidence in myself. I am not following some dream. I am making my dreams my reality.
I don’t feel anxious, or terribly excited, I just feel like I am finally doing what I’ve known I always should’ve been doing.
No, not move to Spain. I mean, yes, I am moving to Spain. But I am finally doing the right thing. I am doing what makes me happy, and fulfilled, and excited with life.
I will be attaining a real education. One full of exploration, culture shock, challenges, and all of the completely unexpected stuff that makes for a unique perspective (and awesome stories).
I am not a teenager, unsure of herself, of her interests, unsure of what she believes. Part of me wishes I were at that extremely malleable point in my life. Rather, I am an adult with fully formed hypotheses (my thoughts, beliefs, values) and ready for experimentation on a large scale (to test, grow, redefine). I’m thankful to be at a pivotal point where I have an opportunity to do something huge. I have an opportunity to completely veer from the safer, more comfortable path and try for something amazing. I’m going all in. I’m choosing the unknown. I am allowing myself to be in control of my direction, good or bad.
I am in control of my future. All successes and failures will be on me. It is scary and thrilling. It is exactly how I want it.
So here goes nothing.